So I would like to point out that I am starting this blog at 3 am…yeah, can’t sleep. Not much of a shock there, this has been one thing that I have not seemed to be able to accomplish lately which has made me into a somewhat mean and ornery person to be around. I also have been having problems being around people for longer than three hours before I snap, yet some take even less time. I am sitting in my bedroom floor right now freezing and on the third time that my 4 ½ hour play list has repeated…I am caught up on school finally! I have two classes right now and both classes are hard and boring which is never fun. Over all, this week has not been the greatest of all weeks for a few reasons…sleep and thoughts that fill my life. I will say that I have had one person this week that has helped a lot with being a good distraction (of course, this person is also part of the reason that I was behind in school). Opps. Anyways, I was having kind of a weird night last night…around the time that he called, I was lost in thought when my phone rang. I immediately snapped out of it and looked at the caller I.D. I saw that it was him and decided that it would be worth ditching the idea of homework to talk to him. He started off with why he was upset: his room mate had broken up with his girlfriend and wanted him to take sides…this is never anything that anyone wants to hear when a relationship has ended. Anyways, he spent a little bit of time on this topic and then jumped immediately to me and what I was up to. Like I said, at this point I knew that there was really no hope of homework since I was frantically trying to locate my charger. I walked aimlessly around the house for about five minutes or so; after having no luck I returned to my room where I stood on my floor doing circles and rubbing my head/ pulling at my short hair. After about two minutes I decided to continue my search and went back up to the attic…I was just about to ask Kyle if I could borrow his when I spotted mine. Returning to my room was not much help since my body was slowly going into a weird state of shock. I started flashing through the month and then my room…keep in mind I was doing this all while I was on the phone with him. All he heard was “I hate April” or “Every 25th suck…why does it suck” or “Maybe if I clean the room again, maybe that will help” or “my room is a triangle, not wait it’s a weird square” or the favorite saying the night “my room is filled with death, it’s filled…everything needs to leave.” This went on for at least 15 minutes before I finally said that he should talk…no that he NEEDED to talk. The conversation lastly a short time and then my voiced trailed to a new part of my room, which then lead the conversation into a random conversation about pandas, sound boards and more. The whole time he sat and just listened. By the time that his phone died, after a conversation that lasted about one hour; he had turned my mind set in the direction of something new and I was free of the idea that it was APRIL!!!! See my opinion of April is that ‘April showers bring nothing but loss and grief’ due to events of my past. He has no idea how much he actually did to help the situation last night; however, he turned a night that might have been bad into a night that I was able to focus enough to go to bed. As far as I know, he was tired by the time that the conversation ended…so we both successfully helped each other.
I don’t know, it’s kind of a story of my weakness…yet I know that I am getting better and I know eventually I will beat the battle that I have been battling for almost a year now. Plus this story has an ironic twist but this I plan to keep a secret.
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I would like to take time and point out that I wrote that blog back in April and never posted it...so I thought that I would post it now. That really doesn't describe my life anymore...at this point I am pretty happy 90% of the time; however, a lot has changed in my life. I have met someone new...so Mike has become a thing of the past. The new guy is named Travis and he is incredible. He is fun and knows how to make me smile...most of the time. he has a few issues with saying things that he really shouldn't or about not saying things that he really should. However, that's okay with me because he is getting better at being a boyfriend. He is an artist which is pretty cool and the best part is that he is good at it!!! He can paint and make pottery items...his room is testimonial of that. His walls are filled with pictures that he has painted, his dressers are filled with things that he has sculpted or made and if they don't have art on them then they are holding the last parts of projects he is working on. Travis is Travis I guess. Of course that is not the only thing that has changed in my life; however, it is one of the best things that changed in my life. I have started a new job at Subway, so I get to work with not only Kyle but also Korey...really cool. I am still a nanny and I have added a new member to my job collection. His name is Bodie and he is about 9 months old; however, he became really mobile recently which means that I will not be watching him as much. I recently got accepted to Milwaukee Peck School of Art; however, I do not know if this is where I will be going yet. Kyle and I plan to study about the same thing and so we are trying to stay together just because commuting will be cheaper for both of us. I am going to become a drama teacher and he plans to go into Technical touring. Mission Possible is going okay; however, we are hoping to tour this summer yet but we are still unsure. My dad is in the process of getting his Masters in Christian Studies right now and we are in the process of looking for a pastor job for him. We are unsure were God is taking our family right now; however, we are hoping for the best. Lastly, Kevin and Debbie were offered youth positions down in Kansas, so we moved them down there about two weeks ago. My family could not be any more happy for them. I think that is about the best update I can give people and hopefully I will remember to keep you guys up to date with my life.
